There are times in life that leave us questioning our understanding. Whether a little or a lot, we find ourselves rethinking things we thought we understood - previously-certain concepts around which we’d shaped parts of our existence. There are times when we think we understand where things are going and how life is panning out, only to have the rug pulled out from under us and find ourselves staring up at the ceiling wondering how we came to be so far off what we thought was a certain course.
One such time for me was my husband and I losing our first baby to miscarriage. After a long and challenging path to become pregnant, we felt utterly certain God had answered our deepest prayers when we found out we were expecting a child. We were overwhelmed with love, excitement and gratitude and eagerly began to prepare for what we thought lay ahead.
Nothing could have prepared us for the devastation we would face just weeks later when we learned that our tiny but utterly-precious child had died. We faced immense grief and, alongside it, confusion over our understanding of God’s plan for our lives.
Amid all the work of facing up to our loss, our return to childlessness and the almost-overwhelming heartache that accompanied them, one thing quickly became crystal clear; if God’s plan wasn’t to bring our baby to birth and place him in our arms, He must have had a greater plan to bless people through our circumstances. Our task was simply to discover our part in that plan.