Give up chocolate for Lent? God doesn’t need me to be a quitter.

It’s that time of year again; the time when we traditionally eat our body weight in pancakes on Shrove Tuesday then give up something we love until Easter.

I thought about giving up something this year but then I remembered, I’m no quitter.

But in all seriousness, why do we give up things for Lent? If we do it, is it because we want to or because we feel obliged? Do we feel that God expects us to put ourselves through an element of suffering as a penalty for some of the suffering Jesus went through on – and before – the cross? Do we do it because, well, we just do it, year in, year out, and we’ve never really questioned why? What’s it actually all about?

 Shrove Tuesday – or Pancake Day to give it its more commonly-used title – is typically associated with eating pancakes because, historically, it was the final day of eating rich foods before the fasting of Lent began on Ash Wednesday to mark the run-up to Easter.

Traditionally people fast, or give up certain things, during Lent to replicate the sacrifices Jesus made as He journeyed in the desert for 40 days. For some it is a time of self-punishment, of sacrifice, of making a specific effort to do good works.

But is it necessary? Does God require us to do these things to earn his love and grace or to free us from the legacy of the things we’ve done wrong in our lives.

The simple answer is no. God doesn’t require us to earn our way into His good books or repay a debt to Him, and if He did we could never achieve it because our debt would be too big.

In the Bible, the book of Ephesians, chapter 1, verses 4-6, tells us that God freely gives His grace to us through Jesus. It says, “In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will – to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves.” Grace means to give us what we don’t deserve, and by His grace God gives us a second chance, welcoming as sons and daughters all those who reject their past wrongs and turn to Him. And this is made possible because of the sacrifice Jesus made by dying the death of a criminal, despite never doing any wrong, and being nailed to a cross. Put simply, He paid the price for all the wrong actions we would do in our lives so we wouldn’t have to.

Many people fall into the trap of believing they need to prove their love and commitment to God through actions, and that they need to follow certain rules – like denying themselves certain things during Lent – to win His favour and honour. But the Bible makes it clear that this is not the case, that nobody can earn God’s favour through their actions – beyond turning to Him and away from their past mistakes. And there’s a very good reason for that.

As Ephesians chapter 2, verses 8-9 tells us, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.” In God’s eyes, all His children are equal. There is no hierarchy based on who serves Him the most, who dedicates the most time to charitable works, who donates the most money to good causes. And that means nobody can boast about what they do, or claim to be any better than someone who doesn’t do those things.

Yes, knowing God and allowing Him to guide your life is likely to lead to you doing good things, whether through donating your time or money to good causes, being a supportive friend or whatever it may be. But those things should be a consequence of a relationship with God, not the means by which any of us seeks to build a relationship with God.

And, just as succeeding in good deeds can put us at risk of becoming boastful, failing in our attempts at good deeds can have the opposite effect and make us feel we have let down ourselves and let down God. If we give up chocolate for Lent but succumb to temptation and wolf down a packet of Mars bars a week before Good Friday, we can end up feeling unworthy or like He will love us less (and probably feeling slightly sick from the chocolate too).

But because God’s grace is freely given and doesn’t rely on our works, and because He is a good and loving Father, God doesn’t work like that. He loves us when we feel successful and He loves us when we feel like failures. He loves us even when we don’t love ourselves.

His grace is sufficient for us. We might want to prove our love to Him but we don’t NEED to prove our love to Him. He knows our hearts and that is what He is interested in.

So if you’re thinking of giving up chocolate, or alcohol, or any number of other things for Lent because you want to do it for yourself, either to test your resolve, to be healthier, because you feel it will help you focus more closely on your relationship with God, or for whatever reason, go ahead, enjoy (as much as you can enjoy going without chocolate!) and I wish you every success.

But if you’re thinking of denying yourself something from now until Easter because you need to prove yourself to God, you might like to reconsider your motivation. Jesus has already paid the ultimate price to fund a second chance for everyone who turns to God. God doesn’t need us to pay any further price, and by setting ourselves targets that suggest we think He does, we risk setting ourselves up for the fall of not reaching those targets and feeling like we have failed Him.

God loves you for who you are, not for how much you do for Him.

Sarah Moore is the author of For the Love of Lentil, A journey of longing, loss and abundant grace, which tells the story of her experience of pregnancy and miscarriage. Copies of the book are available here.