The taboo of mental illness: Why is it viewed so differently to other health conditions?

In the last few days I’ve seen and heard various discussions through which I’ve been prompted to explore a topic that it can be tempting to avoid talking about – suicide.

It’s a topic people are often reticent to discuss. It’s something that we don’t fully understand. Sometimes people fear that talking about suicide might encourage people to take their own lives. So, far too often, we take what could be seen as the easy option and avoid discussing it.

The trouble is that such avoidance only serves to further the taboo, the lack of understanding and the difficulty that people often have in seeking help if they are experiencing mental health problems.

And there’s another problem, and that is the condemnation that seems to come across in much of what IS said and written publicly about mental health problems, self harm and suicide.

In recent days I have seen and heard of various discussions about people who have taken their own lives, and I they have contained many things that have made me cringe.

In one public discussion about the death by suicide of a Christian pastor, I have seen one commentator offer heartfelt condemnation based on legalism and an apparent lack of understanding of both mental illness and the all-surpassing love of God.

And I have heard of other discussions had by people confused about how someone could take their own life after openly discussing, both with friends and mental health professionals, the difficulties they were facing.

Such instances, I believe, are borne out of a lack of understanding of mental health problems and mental illness as just that – health problems and illnesses.

There seems to be a lack of understanding of that simple fact, and it’s a lack of understanding I’ll admit I find it difficult to get my head around.

Sadly in life, people can be affected by illness. When physical illness strikes, it is rarely met with condemnation. If someone loses their life to cancer or a heart condition it’s unlikely that people will blame them for dying.

And yet, when someone is affected by mental illness, it is sometimes – perhaps often – viewed differently. There can be condemnation. There can be a feeling that people affected should pull themselves together and snap out of it. They can be accused of attention seeking, of selfishness, of choosing to be ill. Who ever chooses to be ill?

There’s no denying that people who are struggling with their mental health need to be able to talk freely about their difficulties and seek support from those around them. And it’s understandable in the face of the condemnation often seen that they may find that difficult. But it’s important that people don’t expect that kind of talking to be a magic bullet that fixes everything.

When a life is lost to suicide, there are inevitably questions from those around them about why – as can be the case after any death. But with suicide there are often feelings of guilt, of disbelief, of wondering why their efforts were not sufficient to solve the person’s problems and whether they could or should have done more. And sometimes, I think, that comes back to the difficulty we can have in seeing mental illness as just that – an illness.

If someone we know has cancer and talks to us about their symptoms and the impact they are having on their life, it’s unlikely that we would expect such conversations to cure their cancer. Yet we can fall into the trap of expecting just that when it comes to mental health problems.

Equally, unless we happen to be oncologists and involved in the treatment of the person in question, we would not logically question why we had not been able to save the life of a friend or relative who lost a battle with cancer. Yet, for many, it can seem a logical question when someone loses a battle with mental illness.

And, when it comes to suicide, there are many who, sadly, adopt a legalistic outlook and view their death as an unforgivable sin – a breach of the biblical commandment not to kill – seemingly without appreciating that, like any illness, the person is affected by symptoms and is unlikely to be in full control of their thoughts or actions.

It is clear, in many areas of society, that mental illness is often viewed differently to physical illness, and, if more was done to change that, people affected might not encounter such barriers to seeking the help and support they need.

But it’s also important to remember that, as with any illness, seeking help and support is not a guarantee of recovery. Just like some who have cancer survive and some sadly don’t, the same applies when it comes to mental illness.

There is often a perception with suicide that, as the final act of a person’s life, it cannot be forgiven as there is no opportunity to seek forgiveness. But that perception overlooks some key facts. It fails to appreciate that, as with any other action in our lives, only God truly knows our minds and our motivations, and how a person’s judgement may have been affected by mental illness when they carried out the actions that led to their death. And it assumes, with no way of knowing, that there is no opportunity for a person to seek God’s forgiveness.

To condemn someone who loses their life through suicide appears to presume that they did so by way of a rational decision, taken while of sound mind. We wouldn’t vilify someone for dying as a result of a physical illness, so why do it in a situation in which someone loses their life as a result of mental illness? Ultimately only God knows the true state of any of our minds and what motivates any individual to take their own life. We, as mere humans who could be just as susceptible to the same things that affected such a person, are in no position to judge.

And the Bible is full of verses that highlight the love and compassion of God, over and above the legalism on which humans can so often focus.

Romans chapter 8, verses 1-2, tells us: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.”

And Romans 8:38-39 says: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

And for those who might be struggling, Psalm 34, verses 18-19, tells us:” The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all…”

It may just be that the way in which He works to deliver him may not be the way we mere mortals would expect or hope for.

If you’re struggling with your mental health, support is available from Samaritans by calling the free phone number 116 123. For more details visit www.samaritans.org

Sarah Moore is the author of For the Love of Lentil, A journey of longing, loss and abundant grace, which tells the story of her experience of pregnancy and miscarriage. Copies of the book are available here.