Today is June 10. A date that, for me and Gary, could have changed our lives forever. A date that did change our lives forever.
June 10 will always stick in our minds as the date in 2018 when our precious Lentil would have been due to be born. Things didn’t follow our plan but if they had we would have missed out on some amazing opportunities to grow in God and, as we’ve learned over the past two years, to impact others along the way.
When we learned of our first pregnancy, we thought God would bring to birth a child. When our hopes for that were dashed, we knew He had another plan, and it wasn’t long before we learned that what He had actually planned to bring to birth was a book – a book which would go on to touch, comfort and help others living with baby loss and childlessness.
I have been truly humbled over the last two years each time somebody has relayed how God has spoken to them through our story. I will never know in this life exactly how many people it has reached and how it has impacted them, but each one is, to me, a part of Lentil’s legacy.
God has gifted us our precious Charlotte – His precious Charlotte – and we are settling in to our changed lives as parents with a child to hold, as well as a child held by God. It’s strange to think that it was only just over six months after Lentil’s due date that God began knitting her together in my womb. So much happened in that short time that the memory of it feels so much longer. But, be it a long or a short wait for our answered prayer, we know it was all in God’s perfect timing and part of His perfect plan.
As Charlotte develops and we develop as parents, our lives will inevitably change further. The future of this website is among the many things we need to consider in the coming weeks and months. In the Bible, Ecclesiastes chapter 3 tells us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Charlotte has reminded us that there is a time to be born, and Lentil that there is a time to die. The launch of this website and For the love of Lentil were, for us, a time to plant, and it may be that we are nearing a time to uproot.
The future is in God’s hands and we will, as ever, seek His will as we consider how we can best serve His purposes and His plan. In the meantime, as we remember our precious Lentil on what was never to be his second birthday, we’ve made copies of For the Love of Lentil half price until the end of this month when ordered here.
We always said that if Lentil’s story could highlight God’s love and faithfulness to just one person it would have demonstrated that his life had a purpose. It has reached so many more, and we know that, one way or another, it will continue to do that.
We will be ever grateful to God for both our darling children, our precious gifts given by God, and equally grateful for the small part our journey to parenthood has allowed us to play in His mighty plan.
And I, in particular, will remain grateful that God enabled me to be “joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer”, as Romans 12:12 says, as we walked that path.
Sarah Moore is the author of For the Love of Lentil, A journey of longing, loss and abundant grace, which tells the story of her experience of pregnancy and miscarriage. Copies of the book, along with baby loss awareness badges which are sold in aid of Baby Lifeline, are available here.